


Untouchable

by Keira_63



Series: X-Men Fics [2]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men (Original Timeline Movies)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hopeful Ending, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, POV Rogue (X-Men), Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:00:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24505834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keira_63/pseuds/Keira_63
Summary: Untouchable. That is what she is - a freak among freaks.
Relationships: Unrequited Rogue/Logan
Series: X-Men Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769155
Kudos: 16





	Untouchable

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own the X-Men movies, characters or comics. I am just borrowing them for a while.
> 
> This was originally posted in 2009, back when I was new to fanfiction, so it isn't my best work, but I wanted to get it up on this site anyway.

I am untouchable, a freak among freaks.

No one knows what it feels like, not been able to touch. Sometimes I think I would give anything in the world, do anything, just to feel someone's skin without knowing I am hurting them, even for only a second or two.

I envy the other girls, like Jubilee and Kitty. When it gets to summer they are all out in shorts and tank tops and then there's me in jeans and a long sleeved top. I remember when I wore skirts without tights, of the warm days back in Meridian when I could pull of my jacket without having to worry about who was around.

I still get hugs off all my friends, but they're not the carefree ones everyone else gets. They are careful, stilted, because one touch from my skin can maim or kill.

Then there are the voices.

At first the Professor thought I only gained the abilities of those I touched for a few hours, a few days at most depending on the length of contact. However, we later discovered that the truth was different. It turns out that while the outward signs fade, I always have them with me, ready to call when I need them.

The Professor has been working on controlling them, stopping random flashes of Logan's temper or Magneto's magnetic fields. It also helps me to control the nightmares – I have some of my own, but the worst memories I see when I sleep are not mine, but belong to those I have absorbed. I've dreamt of Auschwitz, mutant torture, so much pain. I think I understand Erik … Magneto, better now – I still hate what he tried to do to me, but I’m not sure any decent person could see Erik’s past and not feel at least a little sorry for him.

My powers are so strong now, I've absorbed some of the best gifts. Logan's healing and a bit of his temper, something that always stresses the mansion when it rears its head. Then there is Erik's magnetic field, always useful in a fight. Logan and Erik are the strongest personalities in my head, since I had the most contact with them. It can be useful, since they’re both full of advice, but they like to argue with each other too, and I’m still training with the Professor so I can push them away when they start giving me a headache.

I try and avoid absorption of anyone at the mansion if I can help it. Any extra powers can help me protect myself and others, but the Professor always warns me that having too many voices in my head, especially when I can’t fully control them, could be extremely dangerous.

Still, accidents do happen. I’ve got both Bobby's ice and John's flame, two opposite elements now in the same girl. It’s kind of nice to have those powers, but I’m glad the contact was only short (both happened during training sessions) because it means their presence in my head is sort of faded and they can’t make too much trouble.

I also have some telekinetic and telepathic ability, though it is low level, due to brief touches from the Professor and Dr Jean Grey, when they were entering my mind to discover more about my new abilities. I have to really concentrate to use these powers, and I’m not even close to the level of the Professor and Dr Grey – we’re not sure why that is, considering I can use my other absorbed powers relatively easily, but I don’t really mind because even what I have is a bonus and, to be honest, I don’t think I’d fancy having any sort of strong telepathic powers because I have enough issues as it is.

I hate how I used to take intimacy for granted. A hug, a handshake, a kiss … it all used to be so easy. Now, though, intimacy is something unknown to me, the untouchable girl.

Bobby was never really much, I liked him a lot, but there was always something lacking. It was especially hard with him not being able to touch me at all. I think that's why he left me and took up with Kitty – he could touch her without fear or danger. Part of me hates him for leaving, but the other part understands, especially when my own feelings weren’t as strong as they probably should be.

Then there's Logan. He saved me from the streets and kept me safe. He has always kept his promise and though he leaves regularly to search for his past, he always come back to the mansion eventually. He’s never been bothered by my skin much either – he forgave me when I had to touch him to heal the injuries from his claws and he even touched me himself, to save my life on Liberty Island. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal, but it means so much to me.

Still, while Logan is my best friend it feels like I’ve always had a desire for more. I might not be able to touch anyone safely but I can still feel all the emotions associated with intimacy. People forget that, sometimes, and think I am as emotionally distant as I have to be physically. I feel, though … I feel a lot. And with Logan it started out as a crush, but the more I got to know him the more in love I fell. But it doesn’t matter, really, because I’m sure he only sees me as a daughter or a sister or a friend. He's still enamoured by Jean and while she really is a lovely person, she has Scott and yet she still flirts with Logan all the time. Sometimes, when I’m feeling especially bitter, I think that it really isn't fair that she gets two great men and I can’t have anyone at all.

I may have Logan for a best friend, Kitty and Jubilee as my friends and Professor X, Storm, Scott, Hank and Jean to help me with my powers, but I still lack that special someone most of the mansion has.

I wonder if I'll ever manage to find that person. Maybe I’ll have control of my powers someday, or perhaps I’ll come across a person who can cope with an untouchable girlfriend.

I’ll just have to wait and see.

Still, I do have hope. I guess that will have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
